every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
