Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
