so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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