i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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