I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
