your parents love me but you hate me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
