absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
