well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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