D3 body, D1 cock
I just threw up on my dentist
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
