we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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