You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize