Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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