Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
