You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
