Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
