So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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