She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
