Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it's great music for shaving your balls
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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