First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
