i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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