operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
