is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize