New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize