Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
