STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
