With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
