That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
