just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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