i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
