she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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