I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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