Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
