There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
