just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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