dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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