My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize