there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
