Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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