I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
