Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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