am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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