Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
