Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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