Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
