You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We have so much sex to catch up on
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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