i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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