What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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