She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
