you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
