I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
