I want to walk on stilts...naked
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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