I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
