He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
