Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
