hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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