The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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