i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
