It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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