awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
