She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
