Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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