Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
