She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
